Titbits and that

By: Paddy | December 9th, 2008

I’m not sure if the word is tidbits or titbits, I’d like to think titbits. I dont have that much time to write a pile as I am in the middle of exams so apologies for that, but here goes

Deportivo 2 – 0 Malaga
Another win, still in 7th but closing in fast on Champions League places and does anyone else think that we can nab one? Two gammy goals, but a wins a win and it must be said that Daniel Arunzubia is in great form.

Angel Lafita and Omar Bravo got the goals, and also Ze Castro was in super form. The lads go marching on.

Highlights

Joan Verdu related News!!!

Joan Verdu (pictured) is releasing his much anticipated 3rd autobiography, Joan Verdu : Lets Get Silly this week, on the twelvth. Described by the Times as ‘ His Best yet, this book is a gritty masterpiece from start to finish’. I myself have read it and found it to be well worth the extortinate €45 price.

Some of the best bits:

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
The police. I’m afraid there’s been an accident. Your husband is in
hospital.

A man walks into a pub.
He is an alcoholic whose drink problem is destroying his family.

Did you hear about the blonde who jumped out off a
bridge?
She was clinically depressed and took her own life because ofher terribly low self-esteem.

Why do undertakers wear ties?
Because their profession is very serious, and it is important that their
appearance has a degree of gravitas.

Why do women fake orgasms?
Because they want to give men the impression that they have climaxed.

Two men are sitting in a pub.
One man turns to the other and says: ‘Last night I saw lots of strange men
coming in and out of your wife’s house.’ The otherman replies: ‘Yes, she
has become a prostitue to subsidise her drug habit.’

Two cows are in a field. Suddenly, from behind abush, a rabbit leaps out
and runs away. One cow looks round a bit, eats some grass and then wanders
off.

Why are there no aspirin in the jungle?
Because it would not be financially viable to attempt
to sell pharmaceuticals in the largely unpopulated
rainforest.

How many kangaroos does it take to fix a leaky water mains?
None, a kangaroo has neither the intelligence nor dexterity to do any kind of plumbing work

Yo Mama’s so fat, that she was instructed by the doctor to go on a low carbohydrate, high protein diet to reduce the risk of heart disease or even a heart attack later in life

Heart touching Stuff really

Depor to sell their top striker?

I came across this article whilst browsing the internet this morning. Rumour has it that Depor are on the verge of selling top Irish striker Roy McCoy to Bayern Munchen for €15 million squids. He doesnt get playing that much for Depor any more so maybe its a good deal. The lovechild of Irish sportstars Roy Keane and Tony McCoy is said to be looking forward to relaunching his career

Strange but True Super Depor Fact of the Day Police have arrested 49 people this week at the Deportivo Malaga match during a crackdown on “satanic” clothes, IRNA news agency reported on Thursday.

The measures are the latest in a city-wide campaign against Western cultural influence in the Andalucian Republic, where strict dress codes are enforced.

“Police confronted rascals and thugs who appeared in public wearing satanic fashions and unsuitable clothing,” La Coruna city police commander Jim Gordon told IRNA.

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